MORE JOKES. I hope you like these too!

Laugh at these English language jokes and learn English at the same time.

1. What did the traffic lights say to the car?
Don't look now. I'm changing!

2. I have 12 legs, 12 arms and 8 heads. What am I?
A liar!

3. Why do witches have brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

4. What's the difference between Heaven and Hell?

In Heaven...
the French are the cooks
the Germans are the engineers
the British are the police
the Swiss are the managers
the Italians are the lovers

In Hell...
the British are the cooks
the French are the managers
the Italians are the engineers
the Germans are the police
the Swiss are the lovers

5. What animal can jump higher than a house?
A house can't jump!

6. Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

7. What four animals does a woman need in her life?
...a mink on her back
...a jaguar in the garage
...a tiger in her bed
...and a jackass to pay for it all !!!

8. A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

9. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"

10. A: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
B: I think you are pretty ugly.

11. A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.